Reasons He Won't Marry You

How does Beyonce's song go?  "Cause if you liked it then you should of put a ring on it" Well here are a few reasons why you will not get that ring.

1.  You nag, nag, nag.  Stop it! Most men have a very low tolerance for nagging.  Do you hear them going around crying because you didn't wash the dishes?  Then stop crying about him not taking out the trash!

2.  Stop rushing him or giving him an ultimatum to marry you.  Why would you want to force a man to marry you?

3.  He doesn't want to get married.   But you wouldn't of known that because you never got to know him when you first met.  Most women can avoid these dead end relationships if they just merely COMMUNICATE.  If you know that marriage is of high importance to you, why wouldn't you ask a man you are about to date if he feels the same?  The minute he said "no", that was your cue to hit the door but nooooooooooooooo.  If marriage is #2 on your dating list and it's # 9 on his, why would you waste time with him?

4.  Your mouth.  Everything doesn't have to be a argument.  You do not have to have the last word each and every single time.

5.  You're insecure and jealous.  You know that woman you accused him of sleeping with? Well guess what honey?  It was his aunt!

6.  You do not trust him.

7. He's not ready.  Just because you fall in love easily doesn't mean he does or that he should.

8.  Let him lead.  Let him be a man.  Don't belittle him or his dreams just because he's not at a place that YOU think he should be.  Your dream was to go off to college and become a teacher and you did that.  His dream is to open up a chain of barbershops or auto shops, let him do that.

9.  Stop letting your family and your friends make decisions for your relationship.

10.  Stop trying to change him.

11.  Sex.  Keep on believing that lie 'sex is not important.'

I bet you're asking yourself 'well is this writer married?'  The answer is no.  I am not married because I'm in no rush to be married.   I'm in a good healthy relationship with a great man and when that day comes, it comes.  We will not rush each other down the aisle.  Go ask 10 male friends if these are some of the reasons why he would not marry.  I belive he will say yes to more than half of these.  Now go get that ring Beyonce is singing about!

Ok, AnjelMarie gave some great examples, but I just had to elaborate and add one. Enjoy.

1.  You nag, nag, nag.  Stop it! Most men have a very low tolerance for nagging.  Do you hear them going around crying because you didn't wash the dishes?  Then stop crying about him not taking out the trash!        In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff.  So what trash didn’t go out was that the last time it will ever be picked up again.  Some men can be forgetful, if he is open to it, I repeat if he is open to it, write a chore list for household duties and both of you have to make an effort to check it.  So don’t you go getting an attitude because he reminded you that you didn’t unload the dishwasher.

2.  Stop rushing him or giving him an ultimatum to marry you.  Why would you want to force a man to marry you?   For the ladies that have a good man, a la Ben Affleck in “He’s Just Not That Into You”, just let your man love you.  Tell him how important marriage is to you and why.  Talk to other successfully married couples, but don’t force him, he has to make the decision on his own.  For the ladies with men you know you have no business even wanting to marry, LEAVE HIM ALONE.  Be glad that he is not going to waste your time by marrying you when he’s not ready or might not even be that into you.

3.  He doesn't want to get married.   But you wouldn't of known that because you never got to know him when you first met.  Most women can avoid these dead end relationships if they just merely COMMUNICATE.  If you know that marriage is of high importance to you, why wouldn't you ask a man you are about to date if he feels the same?  The minute he said "no", that was your cue to hit the door but nooooooooooooooo.  If marriage is #2 on your dating list and it's # 9 on his, why would you waste time with him?   Nothing more to say, you have to know your man.

4.  Your mouth.  Everything doesn't have to be a argument.  You do not have to have the last word each and every single time.  I couldn’t agree more, sometimes we all get caught up in our women liberation moments, no there is nothing wrong with women’s liberation, and we don’t let our men be men.  If your man is respectful of you and your opinions, then you need to reciprocate that.  If he is not respectful, why are you with him, zip your lips because he’s not worth the good O2, and walk away from the conversation and him.

5.  You're insecure and jealous.  You know that woman you accused him of sleeping with? Well guess what honey?  It was his aunt!  Not all men cheat, communicate with your man, get to know his habits and, tell him what you think.  Sometimes you just have to trust your man.  If he is not trustworthy, leave him.  If you’re just suspicious, check yourself before you go accusing someone of infidelity.

6.  You do not trust him.  I know men may have hurt you in the past but that’s not his fault.  Try trusting him until he gives you a real reason not to.

Note: If your man has betrayed your trust before and you forgave him, forgive him, for real. Don’t hold it over his head and don’t remind him of how understanding you are cause damn it your not a saint.  If you can’t really forgive him then it will always be an issue in your relationship.

7. He's not ready.  Just because you fall in love easily doesn't mean he does or that he should. Face it ladies most men don’t know what they want and if you try to force them to do something their natural instinct to run comes in.  Evaluate your relationship, do you believe he’s in love with you, do you believe he will marry you one day, and most important are you ok with your relationship on a whole, excluding the marriage issue.

8.  Let him lead.  Let him be a man.  Don't belittle him or his dreams just because he's not at a place that YOU think he should be.  Your dream was to go off to college and become a teacher and you did that.  His dream is to open up a chain of barbershops or auto shops, let him do that.  Why would you belittle someone you choose to be with?  If you think so little of him then you don’t need to be with him.  We all have different capacities, goals and ambitions.  Let your man be him, isn’t that what attracted you to him in the first place?

NOTE: Let’s face it these days women are matching and even beating men in their ability to provide. This is not a reason to miss out on a great man.  Great men come with BMW and bus passes.  The ideal relation is one where you enhance each other, if you have the big paycheck and he has a smaller paycheck (unless he is a student, stay-at-home dad, retired or disabled in some way he should be working), and the care and love you’ve always craved then that sound like an enhancement in both of your lives.  I very much think that the ability to handle the money you have is very important but don’t let his paycheck determine what can be a good endeavor.

9.  Stop letting your family and your friends make decisions for your relationship. There are two issues here 1) Why are you letting your family and friends control you? Stop it, you are grown.  2) Why do they know all of your business?  We all want someone to talk to about our relationships but the problem is your mostly talk when your complaining so it’s no wonder your friends and family don’t like him.  Find a new approach, if you don’t praise your man, no one will.

10.  Stop trying to change him.  HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE.  Get a new job, maybe.  Get a new wardrobe, maybe.  But his core being is his core being, HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE and neither are you so stop accepting what you don’t like and move on..

11.  Sex.  Keep on believing that lie 'sex is not important.'  Unless you talked about not having sex in the beginning of the relationship, you can not unilaterally decide one day that you are not having sex without discussing it with your man.  You should never withhold sex when you’re mad, why punish yourself.  Angry sex is the best kind.  If you are not enjoying it chances are he’s not either so talk to him about it.  If you have no libido find something that will get your engine purring.

12. Cheating.  We often focus on men being the cheaters but there are quite a few women out there that do the same.  Even if your man has cheated on you, and you forgave him don’t expect him to do the same.  Underneath all of that brawn, men are sensitive.  Examine your reasons for cheating, maybe you’re not the one ready for the relationship, or at least not one with him.

- Mimi